What South Africa did to Me

An experience of a lifetime is what I just came from and  I am noticing is little things on how it changed who I am.
1. I am not much of a TV watcher anymore. It actually makes me anxious to watch TV during the day. I usually only turn it on as I'm getting ready for bed.
2. I am now a coffee drinker! Lincoln did that to me. Nightly coffees with the host parents and late night chats were the best.
3. I have become less of a texter. Unbelievable huh? Sometimes I just do not like being connected to the world anymore.
4. I love my students even more. There is an overwhelming love that is shone between the Americans and South African students. Coming home I have noticed how much more I care about my students and want to know more and more about them. I cannot wait to see what next semester brings with a new group of students.

Of course there is a lot more that Africa did to me and so much that I will only see as I continue to move forward. I have been home a month and some days it is hard to remember ever being there, but the pictures remind me of all the fun times we had as a group.

I would be wrong if I said that I haven't really had time to think about Africa. School, moving and work has thrown me back into the real world really fast. Some days I have to remember to take a minute and remember being there. Or like today when I was unpacking the rest of my clothes from moving I stopped and a smell I only knew from Africa got me. The laundry soap and the Saunders' house smell was still in some of my clothes. It is the little things that I will remember to remember as time continues to pass.

Where do I go from here?

I've said it before that my class in Grand Haven has meant the world to me. Being my first class they will always be special to me but there were things that we went through that made them even more important to my teaching. And yesterday my class could not stay out of my mind.

I got to help out at Allendale Field Day yesterday. I love working with students and I got to see a lot of my students from St. Luke's, from my first class who are now finishing 5th grade and I worked with them in 2nd. It was awesome to see them outside of church and interact with them. Yet it was also overwhelming. This one day was my first time that I worked with students since I have been home. My mind was everywhere. I was missing my Ida's Valley students in South Africa and I kept thinking about my Grand Haven students. While I was engaged with the Allendale students I was having a hard time really engaging and have complete fun.

And then my mind went from being somewhat overwhelmed to extremely overwhelmed. One of the first classes I worked with was having a lot of fun and we were working to get classmates through the spider web. There was one girl in particular that stepped up infront of the web and started chatting with me. She was really friendly and really excited to be there, and my eye could not be draw away from her.

Her hair was a deep strawberry blonde and quickly my mind went to Jack's sister. Her hair was so different from most children. The color was a deep strawberry blonde turning  more red the family said as she aged. Anyone would first notice her hair and then her small but powerful smile. And the one time I meet her I noticed her shy smile and beautiful hair. This girl I meet in Allendale looked so much like Shelby, who we lost too soon.

So this little girl in Allendale was drawing my mind to think about Shelby, which made me think about Jack and then think about my whole class in Grand Haven and what we went through. So my overwhelmed feeling was now extreme and I wanted to walk away and just cry but how could I do that and not have fun with hundreds of students?

I was for sure in a funk the rest of the day. Not wanting to think about it but was being drawn to think about it all day. And by the end of the day my overwhelmed feeling crashed. I couldn't do it anymore. I talked to Laura and we agreed it was a sign from Shelby and my class that I ran into this girl on Tuesday.

But where do I go from here? My class in Grand Haven will always mean the world to me. And each year I will have to work to "let go" of another class, but I don't want to let these students go. When I said goodbye to them in March I knew I would be seeing them in May when I got home from South Africa and now it's hitting me that my goodbye has come.

My fear is that when I go into a new school in the fall I will have a hard time adjusting to that class with everything that I went through with my Grand Haven class and in South Africa. So where do I go from here?

Fish Tacos!

Fish tacos. Before I would tell you that I would never go near them. Nasty. Gross. Why would you ever mix fish and tacos. But now I am craving a fish taco so so so bad.

In March right before I left for South Africa, my class had been through a rough time. And this one day in particular was just fuzzy about what was going on, it was kind of a relaxing day and I remember talking with my  students and my CT about food. At one point Jack asked us if we had ever had fish tacos and both my CT and I looked at him with a disgusted face. Eww no! But his face lit up, fish tacos are so good! You have to try them. We were lining up for lunch and he continued to talk to his friends. Before I left that day I heard him say, "my sister loved fish tacos." Break my heart-he had just lost his sister a few weeks prior unexpectedly. We had a little hug out and I rubbed his back, wishing him a good rest of the day.

In the back of my mind I knew it was a good thing he was remembering his sister like that. And really there was a smile that came across his face for a quick minute.

That weekend Laura, Kristen and I were out and decided to head to On the Border for dinner. It was a Friday during Lent so I was limited to what I could get. On the menu was fish tacos, and I wanted to bad to try them for Jack. Laura told me she would get them and I could try them, so I got something else delicious. When I tried the fish tacos all  my previous ideas were gone. DELICIOUS!

I went to school on Monday was so excited to tell Jack about my fish taco experience. He was quiet proud and we then again began talking about fish tacos and his sister. And how I should try other fish tacos soon. It was a sweet interaction between my student and I that I will never forget. And every time I eat a fish taco now I will think about Jack and Shelby.

I heart Grand Haven

What a crazy couple of weeks home it has been! I want to update and remember all about my time transitioning back into American life, but until then I need to share what I'm thinking.

There are things that will always be with me; Africa memories, college experiences, family experiences and of course Peach Plains experiences. There are good things and bad things that come with every experience and some that make bigger impacts than others. But to be able to take the positive impacts and help them in my growth and learning is the only way I can see the positives of any negative experience.

My class in Grand Haven was amazing. They made me smile every day even on the rough days and I need to thank them for that. We went through a  lot together; a lot that a first year COE student should never have to go through but we did and we came out on the other side stronger and closer. And while I was away I saw how much they cared and loved what I did with them. Their emails made me smile, and questions about what I was doing made their learning more hands on. And when I arrived back in their classroom just under a week ago unannounced to them I could tell the impact that I had made on them.

THE SURPRISE
I knew from pretty early on in the trip I wanted to surprise my 4th graders when I got home and I told my CT that when I emailed her upon returning home. She didn't really say if she was going to tell them or not, but I had a feeling they had no idea. While I drove to GH that day I had butterflies in my stomach, just like the first day I meet them all. It was surreal walking through the hallway and seeing all the familiar faces. I was hoping that none of my students were in the hallways and popped in to see some of my boys in the Resource Room. They were confused. When I walked to the end of the hallway and the door to Room 19 was closed I knew they were not expecting me. (See my CT rarely ever has the door closed.) I knocked and slowly opened the door. One student who was sitting in the Super Star desk started to get up to open the door and looked at me with the most confused look ever and the rest of the group turned around as I said Hello! Before I knew it 27 4th graders were running across the room surrounding me with hugs. The smiles and giggles were priceless. As I looked over to my CT I had to just smile and then broke away for a hug from her. It was one of the best days since I have been home hands down. They still have me smiling today as I write this.

My Favorite SIX!

#1-Kayamandi Township

The minute we turned the corner in Kayamandi this little girl came barreling down the street and ran right into my arms. She knew what we were there for and even though she lives in the township her smile is bigger than anything I have ever seen. It is one of the greatest memories I have of Kayamandi.

#2- Cape Agulhas

It’s just in my blood to love all the educational parts of holiday. And this is one of the coolest things I can say I did. Even though many people don’t think it is, I have to picture myself on a map and realize where I was. Then it makes it even more significant to me.

#3-Simbarashe

Sweet. Quiet. Innocent. This picture shows nothing more than a grade 3 boy working hard. It shows nothing of his economic status or family structure. He is just a young boy in school. That is a big thing that I remembered to take with me each day that I went to school. These children love school and the love that we gave those couple weeks made things a little brighter.

#4-Musa and I

Sweet and super quiet Musa. I never remember her saying anything in class, yet she is a pistol outside. She can put the boys in place but is kind and shares everything. She lives in the township, but that never shows on how she conducts herself at school. Every day as I crossed the students to the other side of the street, she stopped and gave me a hug. She was always my line leader. On my last day she was really sad and as I walked them all out one last time I looked down at her face to see her checks all wet. I told them all I needed one more hug before we left and as she did she quickly went to line up to cross the street. Many students kept telling me Musa was crying, and before this I was not crying but looking at her sweet face wet from tears I couldn’t hold it in. I crossed the street one more time with them, and got down to her level. I told her I loved her and would never forget her and that I would send a friend next year to say hello. As her taxi drove away I screamed one last time a final goodbye and a sweet smile came across her face.

#5-The Saunders

More than I could have ever hoped for a host family. They were so involved with us and wanted to know so much about everything we were learning. On of final day they told us how special we were to them and gave us all South African braclets. The house was going to be much quieter without us, a big change to what it had been like and they made sure we knew the significance we made in their lives. As we said out final goodbyes, the three of us in tears, Lincoln started tearing up. That says a lot.

#6- Elsja and Ida’s Vallei Girls

Never have I ever felt more welcomed and loved by some of the staff at Ida’s Valley. There were many teachers who were so excited to have us in their school, and Elsja took that to a whole new level. She welcomed us with open arms, even though she wasn’t a teacher and just the Community Keeper. This went far beyond what we ever expected; she even took us out one afternoon for wine tasting, ice cream and a walk in the park.